Opinion
Red Line Flop!
Written By binksPhotographed By Starphyro | Martaare-llopart
2024-05-06
As regular connoisseurs of my work and fashion aficionados will know — as even the shadiest of low-shelf publications have tortured our all eyes with prints of uninspired drags of “clothing” — this month saw the annual Red Line Gala taking place again. As I‘ve mentioned before, I chose not to attend this year as they extended invitations to some of my colleagues despite their cheap tailoring and straight out boring design process did not align with my own beliefs in the craft.
Although I chose not to show my face at the event, I still took it upon myself to go through pages of questionable decisions to give you the scope from a true professional‘s perspective.
It should come to no one's surprise that dear Ulti is on my list for the best dressed, taking the number two spot. With someone as statuesque and elegant as her, it should be impossible to make her look bad, of course, as she is one of THE models of our time. And yet, with this year‘s roster of “designers”, I wouldn't have been surprised to see her in something horrible — despite her talent to even make a sack of potatoes look avant garde. Imagine my surprise therefore, seeing her in quite an acceptable cerulean kimono inspired piece that complimented not only her legs, but also fit the royal theme in a very lowkey, understated way.
Undoubtedly, the best dressed man (as well as person) was none other than Beast Kaido in a majestic Gold Roger inspired uniform. Make no mistake though, the military style jacket is nothing new, nothing groundbreaking, but thanks to Kaido being able to sell you even the most useless of things if he wants, he is actually wearing the costume (and not the other way around as is often the case and we‘ll see two negative examples later on). His appearance was nothing short of a true pirate king at the height of his power. Of course, I would have given him the most luxurious of materials combined with a more elegant finish on the details, but with such a weak lineup in designs, even a costume-y campy rag on a veritable king in his own right stands out well enough.
Then on the other hand, each year we also have the inevitable flops that you reap by inviting the Great Uncultured. This year, Vinsmoke Sanji takes the crown in the men’s department and none other than Nico Robin dressed worse in general. It should come to no one’s surprise, as I have pointed out these two’s combined lack of style and overall sense for materials. By now, I am simply tired of seeing Nico Robin on any red carpet – what exactly is her achievement again? What is she even famous for? Parading around her prominent behind?
Sadly, not only did Miss Nico miss the mark but so many others fell victim to the motto – yet again. Haven’t we had enough rookie mistakes of taking the gala’s motto literally? Of putting on something simple and cool instead of going full out, embracing what the Red Line stands for? Year after year, some designers and their entourage take the easy route and they pay dearly for it (as they deserve as I may add).
This might actually prove a valuable lesson for the spectators and organisers alike as what happens if you invite only creators producing cheap buzz instead of classy and valuable garments with a story to tell. It’s the ancient tale about rhinestones all over again: buy cheap, get cheap.
Who knows, maybe next year, organisers will have learned their lesson and invite me again to showcase true art. Until then, we have enough time to dissect every single misstep of the less cultured.
Have fun,
Black Maria
Editor’s Note: The authors’ opinions do not reflect the publishing company’s views.
